senyer!

it has been awhile since my last real blog entry. as if there are avid readers of this... so after so much vanity that i have been amusing myself with for the past week (i.e not icoluding my grad picture that i just picked up) here are some thoughts that has been lingering my mind for the past... 2-3 weeks:(

1. commitment: after hearing my bestfreind Jemma on her commitment proble, it has occured to me once again. Can anyone really say forever? i don't want to sound so philosophical or theological or theoretical for tha matter, but is there really forever? i have gone through adebate with another great friend of mine, dina, and her, then, potential boyfriend, jay, about this. And i was certain that there was no such thing as forever. Perhaps due to my pathetic, martyrish kind of "love" life.... ok let's not go there... in a platonic lens, forever exisits in that ideal state-relued by the most celebrated philosophical king. Perhaps forever is that mere shadow of true reality. Reality, that being, MY IDEA OF FOREVER. commitments are all perhaps just platonic--everythign is just a mere shadow of that reality of forever...

2. graduation: Indeed, it is just around the corner. Staring at my graduation picture ( oh yes vanity had gone wild these days) it truly seems that everything was jsut a dream. i need not elaborate once again on my college story (which by the way was a sort of oracle by my tulodok, jemma) . Do forgive me with my fixation with philosophy (i've lived with it for 2 years and perhaps will live with it forever (please read #1)). Aristotle said that not all ends are final. some are short term ends as how we feel after eating when hungry, and there are long term ends as how we feel after that long hard struggle called life. But is graduation the end goal of my studying in Ateneo... or is it the legacy i would leave in the ateneo... and as ia quote from mr. pagsi... it is th dash between the years that matters and not the number of years. ASLA gave me he answer. I do hope that the ripple i have started, yes that committed ripple, would finally become a wave. may he vision i saw and still see would become not just a vision buy my real, true mission in Life.

3. 4th year Second sem: i will describe this part with words that start with the letter S!

sloth. savvy. sexy.slacky.stupid. stinky.SS Lobby. serious--seriously funny. sappy. senitmental. sosy. selling.seller.SUN!. sold. show. showbiz.stalking. shy. slobbing.sobbing. sunny days. storm.storms.senseless.swimming. self sufficient. self determined. solo. summoning. servant leader. style. sort. short. shopping. savor. service. secretariat skills. slaved. shai. soriano. sunset. shower. showering by the sunset. surreal. stress. seminar! seminars! siomai. senior. smiles. sober. separations. stuck. oh and yah.. STILL SINGLE!--senior syndrome.

*-* (sharing this reply from ate jess) *-*
Senior Syndrome and the "Real World"
I posted this on my account on theSpoke.net for a specific audience, but in case anyone's interested in my two-cents worth of whatever...

I've received emails, text messages and phone calls on the same "topic" in the past few months... So this goes out to Boni, Gutch, Anj, Russ, Ryan and other college seniors who feel that they are at a "crossroads" in their lives...

I'm not sure if all college seniors go through it, but I'm sure most do, myself included... We call it "Senior Syndrome," that which is really just a sentimental feeling when you think of leaving the place you've spent all of about 4 years in. For some, it's even worse, because they've spent all their school lives in one school, from Prep to College.

It's that feeling we get...
...when we think of all the people we've met, all the friends we've gained, and some of the friends we've lost in the process,
...when we remember all the fun and laughs we had within the confines of the campus,
...when we think of all the tears we shed over problems, issues, and stressful times on campus
...when we are driven to make the most of our "last sem" or "last year" in this place, with these people.

I'm sure the picture's pretty clear. When do the "symptoms" appear? In most cases, second semester of senior year, for others, as early as the first semester (June) of senior year. Maybe it's that uncertainty of what happens when you graduate. It's that feeling when you keep wishing graduation day wouldn't approach so quickly. It's that feeling that drives you to get a tighter grip on those you hold dear (people, places, events, etc).

So what's my point? Not much really, just sharing my few cents worth of thoughts and experience.

Being "Ate" to a lot of people, I have been asked, "What's the *real world* like?" or "Is it a sad sad life after college?" or something to that effect. I always sense the fear of leaving our comfort zones, fear of a new adventure, as I once felt when I was deciding what to do after graduation.

Personally, I've always wanted to teach. I was six years old, I got up on stage during my Kindergarten graduation, and said "When I grow up, I want to be a teacher." Now, I'm 22 years old, and I'm still sure that I want to be a teacher, eventually.

There were job applications, job interviews, resumes, cover letters, etc. I think we all go through that. There were offers to teach, and offers in the corporate world. Everyone would think that the choice would be easy... Teach.

But it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Although I know I'll end up teaching eventually, I knew there was lots to learn in the "big real corporate world" and since I had no problem with giving it a try, I did.

At school, I was asked why I didn't even apply to be a teacher. Although I was asked to apply in other schools, I saw the value of experience in the "real world." Maybe I'm lucky. I got a job that I like, even if it isn't teaching. I've learned a lot. And I'd agree with the wise woman who told me "Work before teaching," experience is the best teacher. Probably because there are some things we'll never learn on campus, things we'll only learn in the "real world."

What's life like after college? No, it's not the sad sad life that we think it is. Yes, for most people, we no longer get 6-hour breaks or allowance from our parents... But there is something indescribable in the freedom and responsibility that comes with being "grown up," plus there's the fulfilling feeling of earning your own pay. :-)

When I'm asked for advice, I say the same thing.

#1. Do what you love, and love what you do. I may not be teaching (yet), but since I like what I'm doing, it isn't as "stressful" or as "burdening" as other jobs are to me.

#2. Be open to new things. There are lots of new people to meet, lots of new experiences to endure. It's a big big big world out there, we'll surely learn a thing or more.

#3. Be steadfast. Stick to your principles, yet be open to other ideas. Know your limits, there's a whole world to enjoy and explore, just know when enough is enough.

#4. Keep your priorities in check. More cash isn't worth slavery to a job that you're not happy with.

#5. Remember, you're never alone. There will always be people -- family, friends, colleagues -- who will support you.

Who am I to speak? No one. Just some person with all of seven months in the "real world." Yes, it can be "cruel" or "stressful" or even "insane" at times, but in my opinion, just give it a try... at least you tried. I'm glad I did, even if I don't plan to stay in it forever.

By the end of April 2005, I'll have to choose a road again. When my project ends, do I look for another job in the "real world"? Do I go to graduate school? Do I go into teaching? Do I teach and study at the same time? I'm not quite sure yet.

So, friends, the "real world" is another adventure, another chapter of our lives. Whether you explore it or not, that's your choice. Be confident. Know what you want to do. There's always more in you and out there.

I just realized that this sounds like an advice column... Now, that is being Ate Jess! Haha!

*-*
btw, die arnarn die!