hmm.. i should have started this long time ago. when i actually knew it. gosh it was a long hard struggle to get here.. from my decision on running for it or not. i lost tears, raged anger and trying to keep my time with me. to be a magnet and not to let anything else fall especailly my academics. i gave up my orgs, my possible positions in the different events i've been stressing myself with... and i am giving up my possible freetime for myself... yet i drew my inspiration from everything i've gone thru..
my friends knew i'll be getting the position but i myself did not believe it. Because i knew that it takes great tasks, it takes courage, it takes smiles even if ur stressed, it takes to have a clear mind, it takes decisions, it takes away free time, and be able to bond with peopel that you'll be working for hte next 6 months.. it takes PR, it takes accepting criticisms and going beyond it. and more than anything... IT TAKES PASSION!
i remember that day. it was december 1, the applications were officially out. i was with anya at the caf in our usual caf routine of four seasons and creamy pesto. Nicko joined us as he was passing by the caf as well. Andrea texted him that the ohead applications are out already. and they literally drag me towards colayco... although that night, i had to ask nicko and anya to go with me to OSA because i was still undecided then.. hindi ko kakayanin kunin magisa ksi takot ako... takot saan? hindi ko alam. i knew i needed someone to push me to make me believe that i can do things that are beyond me. i saw the posters around and as i was looking at each poster pinned around school i'd ask myself one question "ako ba ang tinatawag nyan?"
there was a short bonding session at colayco pav with mommy pat and anders, i dont know but i dropped a tear as i hugged andrea. this was it. i'm officially running! while all my plans are all laid out on my palm pilot diary.
same day i got a text from my mom that my sister finally got her visa to belgium (yep she's there now taking her masters in international relations... which by the way i am taking for 4 years and she for a year.) after getting the application from.. i stared at it. thinking of what answers will be placed on the 4 questions written down. when i was alone, i started to cry. cry? i dont know why. i tried to call friends. i sat down in our usual bench at ss lobby, ate jess came for they have a meeting at the same area. her hug was enough to comfort me.
i was off to my meeting for pragmatix since the event was 2 days to go.. off to eyrie... i tried to stop the tears and focus to writing down minutes for the meeting but mitzi and the rest of the techno core sees that something was wrong. that even i cannot understand.
as i went home, i was in tears, as my sister went down to tears as well because... i knew that if i do get the position, she wont be able to see the orsem i am preparing for. i let out my grief and understood my worries. it hit me there. that i, anj, was going to run for orsem head.. orsem.. such a grand event in school. the most celebrated. the most magnificent... the event that gathers 3000 men and women. the event that nO other univeRsity doeS it the way wE do. adMu.....
the following days i contemplated on the things i had to put in to type as answers to the application form. i was decided. i knew i could do it. i knew what i had to write. i knew i t was calling me.
my first interview was hell. i went to lunch with my brother, anya and jig at the old spag house. that's all i'm gonna say because i dont want to remember the rest of it. but after that day, i thought i lost it. that after so much thinking, i had to blow it away with tears and even lost my self esteem. i lay awake at night thinking WHY? i mean if i really wanted it right?
to my surpirse, i received a text on letting me have a 2nd interview that thursday dec 18 730 faura 318.
from then, i knew i had to prove my worth. i knew i had to stand up for what i believe in. that i went there because I WANTED TO BE THE NEXT O-HEAD. an O-HEAD WANNABE. i wanted to be somebody through orsem. that orcom 2003 did not fail in choosing me as the sec deputy then. that i wil be able to keep the fire of orsem alive and pass on the tradition to next ateneans. and if it had to take the first interview to make me a better person, better leader and a better somebody.. well then, i am taking the challenge.
(only 3 friends, very good friends, knows my true feelings abt this.... mahal ko kayo grabe!)
hence, on my 2nd interview, i knew what to say. in fact i couldn't wait till my watch hits 730 as i walked down the faura drive way.. all i remember is, i was praying. for the past 3 nights of simbang gabi at gesu. i only had one wish. i went to the parlor earlier with ayna.. i really felt good then. my kadiri group even exchanged gifts that day. and every one was teasing me of my powerdressing.. anyone that i saw... taray look nalang... i knew fear got the better of me that faithful saturday. but that thursday... hidni na ako takot. ibang anj na ang nakita nila.
of course with all support by anya... banners with all colours!
i answered all questions in a straight face. i answered all with honesty. i answered it all with confidence. i stepped out fo faura this time with a smile and a heart beating faster... i called anya and nicko for i knew they were still in school. we met up by the beautifully lit bel field... all i wanted that time was a pat on the back and someone to tell me "good job!"
funny, i went home, i didnt know when the results will be posted. i didnt even know how i will know if i did get the position. i didnt know when, how, and where... the day after that was ASLA and my, it was an experience.
ORCOM2003 greeted me a different kind of chirstmas greeting. i came home with family from chirstmas mass in Gesu. it was 12midnight. i was sitting beside my sister when i got a text from nikki congratulating me as the next orsem head. i didnt believe it because i didnt want to until it came from andrea. but charles texted after nikki saying the same thing. then kevin dubing me as the "orsem queen" then i get a text from andrea. "nO other univeRsity doeS it the way wE do. adMu....CONGRATULATIONS!..." from there i stared blankly on the air.. hugging my brother by the kitchen counter.... then the rest of the orcom 2003 texted.. i literally stared at nothing for abt 15 minutes until andrea returned my call.
i have a lot of friends to thank for... for believing in me and for literally telling me that i can do it. blockmates, friends, siblings....they were there from the very start of everything. but my special thanks go to 3 people who have always always been there... these are the 3 people i first told abt my position... anya and nicko even called right after my message. and now.. i owe them lunch:) hehehehe
anya dearest! my one and only scandalizing sister... i really dont know what i'd do if we didnt meet.. grabe since our math wizard days and eu22 chewey days and all the days of college, you never seem to not amuse me on how you perceive life... and thank you for joining me to the parlor before my 2nd interview:) hahaha.. things we do together kakaiba talaga! i am truly blessed to have a great friend like you.. ur truly one of a kind and no one can replace all our scandalizing memories together.. hahaha basta i knwo that you know how thankful i am that you're always there.. and of course after my 2nd interview as well:) keep that scandalizing life ha! hehehe be that OC sec head ha!:)
daddy nicko!! it is still a mystery of how you and i got close. is it the magic of divisoria? the acpshow mtgs? YM chats? bonding sessions after mtgs? ewan hehehe iba ka kasi eh.. at alam ko hindi lang ako nagsasabi noon seio (di ba ate jess?) hahaha :) but i thank you for everything.. for supporting me all the way.. i still remember one of our YM sessions when my status was "so confused" then sabi mo "i'm right behind you" tapos you kept on letting me know that i can do hte job and no matter what you'll be right beside me :) salamat daddy! thank you also for listening to me.. after my first interview as well as for being there after my 2nd interview. i dont know how to thank you but i know i owe you lunch pa rin:) hehehe basta sa orsem ah! you're still king of the covcourts!
ate jess!! haaayyy the magic talaga of YM:) maski noong orsem 2003 friends na tayo i never thought that we'll go this far... as in this close:) thank you talaga for all the support and reading/listening to my rants:) i owe you so much... with all ur hugs and all.. grabe.. till our next ice cream session ah! and teach me to do ur cookies:) and i'm also always here to help you in everything even with ur never ending acp work:) i hope finish na siya:) but i knwo the friends are worth the stress:) keep smiline 'te jess!:)
anyway, as i start this journal on my orsem 2004 experience... i also start a ripple... but i just dont want to start a ripple but start a wave... and i know my orcom2004 will help me start this wave. see you guys sa meeting later:)
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