first post for the year and i dedicate this to mema.. my purple banana (HAMMOCK!) bwhahahahaha!
:)
Phoebe: Hey Joey, want come with me to… are you ok?
Joey: Yeah, I just… I just feel bad about firing Estelle. This is got to be killing her.
Phoebe: No, that wouldn’t kill her. Ordinary embolism might.
Joey: I don’t know. She’s got to be taking it hard, I was like her only client. Except for this guy who eats paper. And I’m guessing he eats more money than he makes. Look, I know she’s not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years. I’m gonna call her and hire her again.
Phoebe: No, no, no! Don't call her! You wait for her to call you (Joey considers it)
Joey: Why?
Phoebe: Because patience is the road to understanding (she thinks) which ... is the key... to a happy heart.
Joey: (impressed) You blow me away.
Phoebe: (picking up her bag) All right, so promise you're gonna wait for her to call you?
Joey: I promise. And that means, never having to give a reason. (Phoebe stops herself from laughing and leaves)
--
Rachel: Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts.
Ross: I'm not going nuts. Do you see me go nuts?
Rachel: No, but you know what I mean.
Ross: Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. (Squeaky.) I'm fine!
Joey: Really?
Ross: Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this.
---
Rachel: I wonder how Monica and Chandler could do it?
Joey: I guess they weren't as good friends as we are.
---
Rachel: Okay.
Ross: Okay, you ready?
Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: A-a-and... record.
Rachel: Okay. (they both look into the camera, and Ross waves.) Hi Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and it was really...
(There's a lot of yelling and screaming coming from the hallway, and they get up to look at what's the noise all about. In the hallway, Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe are having another wind-up animal race, yelling and screaming fanatically.)
Phoebe: (yelling at the top of her voice) Go, go, go Alan! Run you, hairy bastard!---
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. You know, what was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window)
Monica: (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
(Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.)
Ross: What the hell are doing?!!
Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!
Chandler: Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica.
Joey: (panicking) Dude! He's right there!
Ross: (To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!
Chandler: Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her.
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but iit-t's true, I love him too.
(There's a brief pause.)
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.)
---
Ross: What was Monica’s nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Joey: Big fat goalie.
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie…
Chandler: Dangerous Liaisons.
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
Joey: Weekend at Bernie’s.
Ross: Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?
(They both confer)
Joey: Everyday use.
Chandler: Fancy.
Joey: Guest.
Chandler: Fancy guest.
Ross: Two seconds...
Joey: Uhh, 11!
Ross: 11, unbelievable, 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.)
Ross: (to the girls) Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl’s breast?
Rachel: 14?
Ross: No, 19.
Chandler: Thanks man.
Ross: Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
Monica: Maurice.
Ross: Correct, his profession was?
Rachel: Space cowboy!
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bing’s job?
(The girls are stumped)
Rachel: Ow...Oh Gosh!
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
Monica: It’s umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, he’s a transponce—transpondster!
Monica: That’s not even a word!
(Ross stops the clock, signifying the end of the lightning round.)
Monica: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
----
Joey: (he has a turkey on his head) It's stuck!!!
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!
Joey: It smells really bad in here.
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Joey: It's Joey.
---
Rachel: (talking on the phone) C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying that I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Rachel: Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
---
Phoebe: Noooo! Ok, maybe if we just break it down. Ok, let's try at one syllable at a time. Ok? So repeat after me. "je".
Joey: je.
Phoebe: m'ap
Joey: mah
Phoebe: pelle
Joey: pel.
Phoebe: Great, ok faster! "je"
Joey: je.
Phoebe: m'ap
Joey: mah
Phoebe: pelle
Joey: pel.
Phoebe: Je m'appelle!
Joey: Me pooh pooh!
---
Rachel: O-oh my God!
Joey: (enters from his bedroom) What?
Rachel: Joey, what... is... this...thing... doing here?
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Rachel: Joey, we're not keeping this!
Joey: But it's an original Buffay...
Rachel: Alright, fine. You can keep it. As long as you don't mind that she's haunted.
Joey: Hey? what? what? wey! whoo! what? what!?
Rachel: Well, legend has it Joey, that... she comes alive when you're asleep.
(Joey's eyes are twice their size now, and looks nervously from Rachel to Gladys and back.)
Rachel: She climbs out of the frame, and then drags her half-a-body across the floor, just looking for legs to steal. (in a spooky, slow voice) And then with her one good hand, she slo-o-owly re-e-a-aches up and turns your doorknob.
Joey: GET THAT LEGLESS WITCH OUT OF HERE!
--
Monica: Hey! I sold that to Joey.
Rachel: Well, why I told him it's haunted. Two can play at this game. (gives Gladys to Monica)
Monica: No, too late. You can't give it back! (she pushes the painting back to Rachel)
Rachel: Yes I can! (pushes her back again)
Monica: No you can't. She's yours!
Rachel: She's yours!
Monica: SHE'S YOURS!
Rachel: She's yours!
(While they are both pushing the painting towards each other, Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Hey! (there's a pause)
Rachel: She's mine!
Monica: She's m-i-i-ne!
Rachel: She's mine!
Monica: She's mine!
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
Rachel: I want Gladys!
Monica: She's mine!
Rachel: She's mine!
Monica: She's mine!
Rachel: She's mine!
--
(There are scratching and squeaking noises coming from the living room, and Joey wakes up, terrified. He pulls his blanket higher. The doorknob is turning.)
Joey: Gladys?
(The door opens, and there is Gladys, still in her frame though. Joey panics and moves frantically, screaming. Then there is laughing, and the painting is lowered. It was Rachel holding Gladys.)
Rachel: Ha ha ha, third time this week. Man, this does not get old.
Joey: You're mean!
Rachel: Oh, don't be such a baby!
(She closes his door again, and turns around. Then she starts screaming, terrified. There is Glynnis... And Monica holding her up, laughing.)
---
hahahaha:)
BOYS THE PROBLEM WITH BOYS.. THEY'RE NOTHING BUT TROUBLE!:) hahahaha
aint is so paet on the start of the year!:)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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